Conversations with God

God and I had a little discussion recently... it went something like this...

Me: ARGHHH these kids are driving me NUTS!@#^@%$*#&@%$&#

they are beautiful wonderful gifts from me. be thankful. stop your whining.

but they won't leave me alone for even a second!! I am NEVER going to get everything done around here. And I never get any time to myself. I can't even go to the bathroom by myself!

You have them with you. Be thankful. They could be gone in an instant.

Me: yes. you are absolutely right. I suck. I AM so very thankful for them. I don't know what I would do without them. They are pretty darn cute aren't they?!

ya. You might want to think about actually spending some time with them.

What are you talking about? I am a stay-at-home mom, I am with them ALL THE TIME!

Being with them is not the same as BEING WITH THEM.

Me: huh?

God: What is your most important job? Is it cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and all that other stuff? Is it doing your blog stuff? Or is it your kids?

Me: the kids. for sure the kids. But if I don't do that other stuff it won't get done. And then the house will explode. And I'll go insane with no adult conversation. And if I am an insane woman living in a filthy house I certainly won't be taking good care of the kids.


Me: wanna send me a maid? and a check for about a million bucks?


ya, I thought you would say that. So how do you suggest I get everything done at once? I'm not exactly super mom.

You can do all that stuff and still be present for your kids.


you are a little slow on the uptake today. Did you get enough sleep last night?

no. I haven't gotten enough sleep in 7 years... since you sent me that first perfect gift named Aiden.

ya. I knew that. I know everything.
You're pretty funny when you are sleep deprived.

ya. Hysterical. What were we talking about again?

You being present for your kids.

oh ya. right. So what is your point?

God: You just need to change your mindset. Stop thinking of them as interuptions to your day. Realize that they are EXACTLY what you are supposed to be doing with your day. Everything else is less important. If you think that they are a hindrance to your real work you will be annoyed every time they interrupt you. If you realize they ARE your real work- not to mention an amazing gift- you will treat them like I want you to treat them.

I feel like a jerk.

that's ok. I love jerks too. And everyone needs a little kick in the pants now and again.

I suck.

stop talking about my kid like that. I made you and I don't make junk. So there.

Me: ok. ok. ok.

so what are you going to do differently this year?

(ok, so that is a rather loose paraphrase of the conversation since I didn't actually hear the audible voice of God... but wow would I ever like to... but that is not the point... the point is that is the basic idea that God communicated to me).

So here is what I came up with!

Now that my two sons are both in full time school I am going to rearrange my days. I know that I have a lot to do (man do I ever know that) but I really really really know my boys need me after school ends each day. SO I am turning off the computer from the time school lets out until they go to bed and lessening my general busyness during that time.

In theory I will have plenty of time to get most things done during the day while they are at school. Olivia does still command a fair amount of attention but she likes to "help" me clean the house and stuff... she thinks its fun. I'm sure that will wear off someday soon but for now it is working for me. Granted her help mostly just makes more work for me but she is darn cute doing it. And she does nap some days too so that will be nice. And of course she has regular play-dates with Grandma too :).

Olivia will be starting 3 mornings of playschool soon (2 weeks away) and then I will have 6 hours per week kid-free. SIX HOURS!!! Just imagine the things I can accomplish in SIX whole hours?!?! The thought of 2 hours of time just for me in a day blows my mind.

Seriously, I can't even imagine what that feels like right now.

Of course Doug's office is in our house so I won't be completely alone. Unless I kick him out during that time. Which I might do. (and yes he reads my blog- hi honey! I love you! But I REALLY REALLY REALLY want some time all by myself this year ok? ok).

I am not saying I will be focused 100% on the kids for 5 hours straight each night... but I am going to try and be PRESENT and AVAILABLE to them.

Because if I DON'T change my mindset their constant interruptions just annoy me and I get frustrated. And that's not cool. They are SUPPOSED to interrupt me. They are SUPPOSED to tell me long rambling stories about nothing. They are SUPPOSED to want me to play with them. And I don't want to make them feel like they can't do that just because I have a list ten miles long that never seems to get shorter. Because I know that if I don't get it done today it will all still be waiting for me tomorrow... which is a little depressing so I am just not going to think about it!

I don't want my kids to look back at this time of their lives and think that I was always too busy doing housework or working on the computer to spend time with them. They are the reason I am a stay-at-home mom and I want them to know they are totally worth it!


Good for you Tara! Not easy to do, but oh so worth it in the end.
Carrie said…
I am so with you on this- i live in fear that my son is one day not going to recognize me without a laptop in front of me. I'm working on focusing too.
matt0701 said…
Wow, thanks for sharing this! It's amazing to me how a conversation with God can go. Amazingly, I asked God to tell me he love me one time and I swear I audibly heard him!

I really should make more time with my son.
Unknown said…
I've been thinking along these lines myself lately. Especially since Finn's been real clingy lately. Trying to get anything done just doesn't seem worth it some days. Anyways, after I read this post I took the younger two outside to play until Will got home. Thanks for the inspiration.
Shoz said…
Thanks for being you. I love you!
Anonymous said…
Tara-such an insightful post. The Lord certainly has some wonderful things to say when we listen. I was like you one time in the way I viewed "interruptions" whether from kids or others and then God showed me that He is in the Interruptions and that my plan for the day isn't always his plan. love to you and your family. Donna
Anonymous said…
Wow, Tara, not only has God spoken to you but He smacked me with a two by four through your conversation. I also am doing too many things and when Shelby asks me to play I give her my list of things to do. I realized just a couple of weeks ago that she is beginning to change who she wants to be with and her friends are becoming very important. I do need to stop what I am doing and play with her because before too long she will be with her friends a whole lot more than me. Thanks for sharing and challenging me. Have you heard that song by Stephen Curtis Chaplain "Cinderella". Before long she will be gone! Blessings, Heather
Carmen said…
This is so good, I am going to copy and share it in an email to family and friends with kids/grandkids. Powerful!
Danielle said…
I literally got chills when I read this, because this could be an exact conversation I could have with God. Thank you for being so transparent and in turn, helping a fellow annoyed mom realize that I'm certainly being annoyed by the wrong things. I love my boys and I want them to be able to look back and say "My mom was always there when I needed her and always had time for me." If I am honest with myself, right now I don't think they would say that. So thank you, Tara. I'm pretty sure God just used you to speak into the hearts of other moms and help them realize what's truly important. ((HUGS))
Grizzly Bear said…
Thanks for this Tara, I needed to be reminded :)
That was really wonderful. Thank you.
Amanda said…
yeah I've been feeling the same way. My kids are both with me all the time still... and I have been really trying to view my kids as my real ministry in my life right now!

Thanks for keeping it real! Love Love Love reading you down to earth this is the way life really is blog!
Lee P said…
What a sweet post!! It's so true that our lives become so busy that we tend to forget what the really priorities are. I needed this reminder. Thank you Tara. You have a lovely family!
EcoMeg said…
GREAT post. And an excellent reminder to me, too.
Anonymous said…
Wow Tara you are so right! Hands-on mothering goes by very quickly, then the kids are off pursuing their dreams and you have tons of time on your hands to do all your plans and dreams and still have time to put your feet up! Thanks for being such a good Mom to my 3 beautiful grandchildren. Great job!
Surge said…
I really love this post
alexa said…
Alexa Nernberg


Love your blog. Thanks for making me laugh today!
LindsayDianne said…
Whether it is God, or yourself, a book or a friend who tells you these things, they're important to hear. We're all so busy beating ourself up that the dishes aren't done and the floor is not mopped, or that this isn't done, or that isn't done. When we should be focused on the time we're around our children.
I tell you one thing for absolute certain.
I will not be lying on my death bed, wishing that I had done more dishes, or vacuumed one more time. I'll be hoping for one more moment with those that I loved.
Or maybe I won't be... because I took my opportunities as they came.

So go have fun!
Great reflections. :)

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