I hate mosquitoes.

I passionately hate mosquitoes.

I do NOT understand why God feels compelled to allow this abominable species to continue.

I especially do not like lying in bed minding my own business trying to sleep at 5 am and waking up to the sound of a loathsome evil monstrosity buzzing around my head.

And WORSE waking up to the sound of a heinous swarm of offensive hideous blood-sucking beasts buzzing around my head.

And yet this is EXACTLY what happened to me this morning at 5:12 am. The ghastly creatures were having a veritable feast on my poor arms and legs. I leapt forth from my bed and went in search of the bug repellent and fly swatter. I found the bug repellent on the deck (of course it had to be outside because I LOVE going outside in my nightwear) and I never did find the fly swatter so I made due with a slipper.

For the next half hour I smacked, bashed, squashed and gleefully maimed mosquitoes and sprayed repellent at their despicable faces. I then proceeded to stuff cotton balls in the cracks between our window air conditioner and the window frame. I can only assume that is where the barbarians have been skulking in to my no-bugs-allowed haven.

At 5:47 am I laid back down to the blissful sound of silence and the sight of smashed bugs on my walls and the scent of bug spray. And I slept.

Why can't Mosquitoes go extinct instead of lovely creatures like whales? I LIKE whales. I do NOT like Mosquitoes. A whale has never bothered me. Mosquitoes bother EVERYONE. There is just no point to their existence. I am certain the frogs could find some other annoying bug to eat.

And I would just like to say I am thankful for the Benadryl Itch Relief stick as it soothes my dozens of mosquito bites.



Anonymous said…
thanks so much ^.^
I will second and third that!........I'm visiting my family in WI and there are SOOOO many of them here.
Back in MA, we don't have many at all, so I get spoiled there......Even though I grew up here immersed in mosquitos, I just can't get used to them......
jceko77 said…
also cannot stand stinkin mosquitoes. It's bad enough when I get bitten up, but it just kills me when my daughters get bitten and are itching and there is not much I can do to help
I actually giggled more than once as I read this post. I can just picture the absolute irritation and I know how psychotic I would be in the situation. Too funny. Although I am sorry you had to endure all that misery, it certainly made for some fun reading. ;-)
Anonymous said…
I plan to ask when I get to Heaven why mosquitoes and a few other bugs, too.

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