okay... so what your saying is... huh?

This has been a bit of an odd day. We had an appointment with a new (to us) Pediatrician this morning. And it was weird.

I was worried he would tell me nothing was wrong and I just suck as a parent (a common paranoia of mine).

But that is not what he said. He gave us the typical first appointment speeches- the "Kid's need consistency" speech, and the "Kid's need proper sleep and nutrition" speech and of course the "Kid's need appropriate discipline" speech. I kind of hate first appointments for that reason. It is the appointment where they still think you most likely suck as a parent and are clearly an idiot who doesn't know anything about children.

I gave him all of our forms and referral letters and Aiden's assessment papers and the letter from our last pediatrician saying I don't suck as a parent. He looked them over. Asked some questions. And then he told me he doesn't think my son has Aspergers syndrome. In fact he said it is "highly unlikely" because my son is "social". Which is true. Aiden is very social.

So there you have it.

He did concede that Aiden doesn't fit nicely into ANY category... which (oddly enough) I knew already having heard it from eleventy-billion medical/health professionals over the past 7 years and not being a complete moron. If Aiden fit nicely into a category why would I still be pursuing all this?

This particular doctor seems to think Aiden MIGHT fit into the PDD-NOS category (pervasive development disorder- not otherwise specified) which seems to be the "we think you probably fit on the Autism spectrum but we're not sure where" category.

He also thinks Aiden MIGHT have an anxiety disorder. Or a mental disorder. (His words not mine) or an anxiety disorder mixed with ADHD.... and then he said "you know, it is probably something he will just grow out of. He might be one of those people with a short fuse as an adult but he'll be ok".

I really would love it if this was something he would just "grow out of". But how can a kid who has been so consistently the same for his whole life just "grow out" of it?

He told us Aiden needs counselling because he has some serious self-esteem issues... which we already knew. And he was happy we are pursuing more assessment options. And he affirmed that Aiden would definitey need a one-on-one Aide at school indefinitely. Not that he wrote that in letter form to give to the school or anything useful like that. And I was too busy trying to figure out what the heck the guy was saying to ask for a letter.

He did up Aiden's meds because Aiden has grown and the dosage needed changing. So that is good. And we are supposed to go back and see him in 3 months the next time he is in town.

For those of you unfamiliar with living in the middle of nowhere Canada we have visiting specialists- doctors who come from the cities to our small towns once every few months and have a little clinic where they see half the town in 12 hours so we don't have to travel the 9 hour roundtrip to see them for 15 minutes.

I honestly am not sure how to process this. How come this pediatrician disagrees with our last pedictrician? It just seems odd to me. And I really really REALLY liked our old pediatrician. He was amazing with Aiden and we had seen him tons of times... so I kind of trust him more. This new guy seems like a perfectly good pediatrician and I'm happy he is willing to take Aiden on as a patient... but I do miss our old doctor.

So, to sum up, here is the new list of things Aiden MIGHT have according to the various specialists we have seen over the past 3 years...

1. Aspergers Syndrome (4 think yes, 2 think no)
2. Pervasive Development Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified (great name eh?) (all think maybe)
3. ADHD (5 think no, 1 thinks yes)
4. Sensory Integration Disorder (everyone thinks this is there a bit at least)
5. Anxiety Disorders of some kind (2 think yes... the rest never mentioned it)
6. Mental illness of some kind (who knows about Aiden, but I'm pretty sure I do... or will have soon)
7. A combination of two or more of the above (most popular opinion thus far)

You know what though? I don't really care WHAT he has as long as I can get the help he needs. The thing is the HELP seems rather dependant upon the LABEL. Why is that? Personally I think they should create a new label...

"this kid needs help and support because he has issues and his parents don't suck and we'll never figure out exactly what it is so stop trying and start helping" or "TKNHASBHHIAHPDSAWNFOEWIISSTASH" for short.

You think it will catch on? :S

Anyway, I also got to attend a very sweet Mother's Day Tea at my son Owen's kindergarten classroom. It was adorable and I loved it. I will share pictures tomorrow but for now I really must put this exhausted woman to sleep. Night.


Margaret said…

prayers go out for you and your sweet boy.
Dana said…
Tara, I am so sorry this is such a struggle!! The one good thing about the situation with Justin is that we KNEW what was wrong. We just didn't know how it would manifest (and still don't, really).

Wanna move to Virginia? UVA's children's hospital has been completely awesome in helping with Justin, and there is a very active special needs community here.

Amanda Daybyday said…
Well, that is frustrating. Praying for you guys! And I totally hear you about not caring WHAT it is, but just wanting HELP. I get that completely.
Anonymous said…
sounds to me like he is just a right brained thinker(which includes alot of the things you mentioned). Which means he learns very different from left brain school. there are schools that work more right brained. Montessori is one. Lots of kids once put into an environment that is their thinking style get over their self esteem issues much easier. A great anxiety program for kids is called taming the worry dragons. I personally found the pictures to much for my kids (they were much younger) so I photo copied it without the pictures. There are lots of books for understanding your right brained child. "Right brained children in a left brained world". by Jeffery Freed, m.a.t..... There are many right brained thinkers that were world changers. They can build amazing things, they are visual thinkers, they have many abilities to be highly sucessfull adults if they reconize their potential and learn to master their brains. Which can be done. I found this quote very helpful in holding my sanity when standing up for my son who also thinks differently from the "norm", To raise an exceptional child, you need to be willing to raise an exceptional child. Praying for you, alyssa anderson
Kelly said…
How frustrating. I love our free healthcare but sometimes it means slower care.

You are not a bad parent. You are doing everything you can and with another less involved parent he would probably be much worse.
Well good thing it's not confusing at all. Ahem. Sorry that things are so frustrating in this matter!
Mommy Cracked said…
I'm sorry the appointment didn't give you any defenitive answers, but I can honestly say I feel you on so many levels. And I supportTKNHASBHHIAHPDSAWNFOEWIISSTASH 100%. Keeping you in prayer.
Go with your gut Tara.

I'm glad that you've been able to see someone other than your old fav. doctor, but truth is, this guy has only seen him once and is happy to start throwing out possible labels, where as your doctor (who knows you don't suck as a parent) KNEW Aiden.(Don't suppose you could get him to move where you are now?)
I like your label, and seriously I think it's the best fit.
I'm such a dork,

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY to a really great mom and my friend.
Julie said…
I totally agree with your label of "just help this kid". I'm not sure I can wrap my brain around all those initials!
Joby said…
Dont you just love the times when you go to get answers and end up with more questions.
Hope the specialist gets some enlightenment for the next visit.

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