Well I must admit that I am feeling a little on the depressed side today. I guess I just don't have that "every thing's going my way" feeling. I'm feeling stressed about our finances. I'm feeling unhappy with my weight and my personal appearance. I'm feeling frustrated that Aiden is still having a hard time at school and I don't think anything is happening on the assessment front either yet. And it's not just that he is finding school difficult... it is that he is MEAN at school. That really distresses me. And I feel helpless about it.

I'm annoyed at myself because I really feel like spending some regular time reading my bible would help improve my state of mind... but I just can't concentrate when my kids are around. I just wish I could read my bible with kid's TV going on in the background and get as much out of it as I would sitting in a peaceful quiet room in a comfy chair surrounded by soft colours and sunlight and no interruptions. Because that is just not going to happen.

And so because I can't get to my "happy place" for some quality time with God I just don't do it. Apparently I'm a little too "all or nothing" for my own good.

My baby girl is fussy today. And she is turning one in 11 days. And she is walking more and more. And how fast she is growing up makes me a little sad. Why is it that when things are going crappy time seems to drag by and when things are enjoyable it flies by? That's just not fair.

Actually, a lot of things aren't fair. And I think they should be.

Did you know that I have been working on a blanket for Olivia for over a year? I may never finish it.

And I don't enjoy unfinished things all over my house.
And baby spit up
And piles of laundry
And dirty floors
And crying babies
And whining pre-schoolers
And And And And

And it's time to stop complaining and be thankful...

So here goes...

I'm thankful for:

my dishwasher
running water
good food
my family
ears to hear
eyes that see

I'm going to go put my fussy baby to bed now.


Bebemiqui said…
I hate how easy it used to be to focus on God pre-kids and hubby!!! I hate that I have to learn a new system to seeing Him and keeping focus. Blech!
Darn life and all I have to learn.
Man, that first year just flashes by...do you know yet whether you done giving birth?

Popular Posts